Responsibility
Speaker: Pastor Darin Browne
I was struck this week in my quality time by Ezekiel’s words. He wrote to the exiles, who were blaming God for the defeat of their nation, saying they were being punished for their fathers’ sins, and that this wasn’t fair!
Ezekiel 18:20-25
The soul who sins shall die. The son shall not suffer for the iniquity of the father, nor the father suffer for the iniquity of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself.
“But if a wicked person turns away from all his sins that he has committed and keeps all my statutes and does what is just and right, he shall surely live; he shall not die. None of the transgressions that he has committed shall be remembered against him; for the righteousness that he has done he shall live. Have I any pleasure in the death of the wicked, declares the Lord GOD, and not rather that he should turn from his way and live? But when a righteous person turns away from his righteousness and does injustice and does the same abominations that the wicked person does, shall he live? None of the righteous deeds that he has done shall be remembered; for the treachery of which he is guilty and the sin he has committed, for them he shall die.
“Yet you say, ‘The way of the Lord is not just.’ Hear now, O house of Israel: Is my way not just? Is it not your ways that are not just?
IT’S JUST NOT FAIR, GOD!
Ever thought that God is not fair? I will admit, there are times when I think things are not fair, but God never promised to be fair, He promises to be just, and merciful. And trust me, you don’t want God to be fair, you want Him to be merciful. If He was fair, we’d all be in hell.
Ezekiel 18:25
“Yet you say, ‘The way of the Lord is not just.’ Hear now, O house of Israel: Is my way not just? Is it not your ways that are not just?
The people in Ezekiel’s day accused God of being unjust, unfair. They blinded their eyes to the truth that we are all guilty, every one of us.
Titus 3:5
he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit,
Ezekiel 33:20
Yet you say, ‘The way of the Lord is not just.’ O house of Israel, I will judge each of you according to his ways.” (Which means we are each responsible for our ways!)
RESPONSIBILITY IS A DIRTY WORD TODAY
If our modern world, responsibility is a dirty word. No one takes real responsibility for what they say and do, and our government and media enhance this trait. It’s your genes or it’s your upbringing or were you born this way? Is it your friends, your circumstances or your mental illness?
It’s never, ever you, is it? Get on Facebook, ask your friends, they will reinforce this lie! We always think we are the victims, because it’s never really our fault! Let’s talk responsibility.
1: GOD’S DESIGN FOR PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY
Ezekiel 18:20
The soul who sins shall die. The son shall not suffer for the iniquity of the father, nor the father suffer for the iniquity of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself.
God has created us to be accountable for our own actions. We are each responsible for our own choices, regardless of the circumstances, and we cannot, indeed must not, carry the weight of someone else’s sin.
Romans 14:12
So then each of us will give an account of himself to God.
2: THE DANGER OF ENABLING SIN
FACT: If people do not accept responsibility for their sin, they never change. God gives every one of us a free will, and we can decide what we will do, whether we sin or are righteous. An addict will remain an addict while ever they blame others for their actions. The only hope anyone has of changing is when we take responsibility.
Galatians 6:7
Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.
God allows adverse and even painful consequences for our sin. Why? If we don’t experience this, we don’t learn and we don’t change…we simply don’t have to change!
When we take responsibility for someone else’s sin, we may inadvertently enable them to continue in their wrong behaviour without facing any consequences. Every action has consequences, so if we shoulder what is not ours to shoulder, we shield them from the consequences that may cause them to change.
Loving others does not mean shielding them from the natural outcomes of their actions. Sometimes, true love involves letting people face the consequences in order that they may learn and grow. If a girl sleeps with a guy and falls pregnant, then asks God’s forgiveness, she is forgiven (1 John 1:9). But the baby in her womb does not disappear! Consequences remain. Is she forgiven? Yes, but she still must face the consequences.
Ezekiel 18:30
“Therefore I will judge you, O house of Israel, every one according to his ways, declares the Lord GOD. Repent and turn from all your transgressions, lest iniquity be your ruin.
3: CHRIST HAS ALREADY PAID THE PRICE
The Bible teaches that Jesus has already paid the price for our sin, and their sin too.
1 Peter 2:24
He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.
Look at the context. That’s not talking about physical healing, it’s talking about the healing of your soul. When you accept Jesus and die to sin, and live to righteousness, you can overcome the consequences of your sin. Jesus Christ has already borne the weight of sin for us. We do not need to carry the burden of our sin, or someone else’s sins, because Christ has already paid the price. His stripes heal your wounds.
This means we can be released from guilt and the constant need to “fix” everything for someone else because Christ has already dealt with the ultimate consequences of sin. Our role is to point others to Him, not to carry the guilt and burden of someone else’s sin.
4: YOU NEED TO ESTABLISH BOUNDARIES
2 Corinthians 6:14
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?
We recognise that this verse can refer to relationships, such as marrying an unbeliever, or business, but taking on a burden from someone else’s sin is yoking yourself to them in a similar way. If you beat yourself up for what someone else has done, you are overstepping the boundary.
Healthy relationships require boundaries. While we should support others in their struggles, we cannot take on their sin as our own. Encourage others to take personal responsibility for their own actions and to seek God’s help in overcoming their sin.
Loving someone does not mean carrying their spiritual burdens for them but helping them carry their load through encouragement and prayer. Love them, be there for them, care for them, but don’t accept the guilt for what they do.
I see this so often with parents whose kids walk away from God. These parents ask me, “Where did I go wrong, where did I fail.” If they are over 18, they are adults, whether they have a mental illness or not, so don’t beat yourself up for what they decided to do, when you never decided to do it. God never wanted you to bear that.
5: FORGIVENESS WITHOUT ENABLING
Matthew 18:21-22
Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.
Jesus says this, then goes on to tell the parable of the unforgiving servant, who was forgiven so much by his master, but turned and refused to forgive his friend for a petty amount. In this modern world, people equate forgiveness with approval, and it is simply not true. You can forgive but not approve of what has been done.
Forgiveness sets you free. While ever you hang onto unforgiveness, it is like drinking poison hoping the other guy dies. Forgiveness is essential, it sets you free, but forgiveness does not mean taking responsibility for the consequences of the actions of others. Forgiveness sets you free from bitterness, which can eat you from the inside out, but that doesn’t mean excusing or taking the blame for someone else’s actions.
6: TRUST THAT GOD WILL DEAL WITH IT
Romans 12:19-20
Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”
If you have been hurt by the actions or sin of another, don’t try and even up the scales in revenge. Leave it to God and let Him sort it, because your role is simply to love them, care for them, not agree with them or bail them out all the time.
God is the ultimate judge and will deal with sin, in His time and His way. We do not have to carry the burden of justice for others’ wrongdoing. If we didn’t do it, and we couldn’t influence it, we should not carry the guilt of it. It is not ours to carry.
When we trust that God will make all things right, it frees us from the false responsibility of having to “fix” everyone’s mistakes. Most of the time, they aren’t listening anyway.
WHOSE SIN ARE YOU RESPONSIBLE FOR?
From Ezekiel, God makes it very clear whose sin you are responsible for. It is not
1: MY PARENT’S SIN
Moses said words that the people of Ezekiel’s day grasped on to, to try and shift the blame.
Exodus 34:7
keeping steadfast love for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, but who will by no means clear the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children and the children’s children, to the third and the fourth generation.”
They overlooked the first part of the verse, then blamed God as being unfair, punishing them for their fathers’ sins. In Ezekiel and Deuteronomy, God says He won’t do that. When he says “visiting iniquity” he is talking about consequences, not guilt. God is saying that, if you sin, the ramifications could be felt for generations. God is stating a fact, not calling an account. He will not punish you for your parent’s sin, but you may experience the consequences of their sin. But even this can be broken!
So, a woman has a baby at 16, then her daughter has a baby at 16, and so on for generations. We see it all the time. This is a generational curse that you can refuse to buy into. You can be set free by inner healing; you don’t have to carry that guilt!
2: MY CHILDREN’S SIN
Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
That is not a promise, it’s a principle. I have seen families where three kids have been trained the same way, two go all in for God and one walks away. But in general, train them well and they grow up well.
But listen, if your kids have turned their back on God, pray for them, help them where you can, love them unconditionally, but stop blaming yourself for their bad decisions. Once they are of age, they are responsible before God for what they say and do, not you.
Someone here needs to hear this message! Stop blaming yourself for what your children do. Set yourself free by handing it to the Lord, then stepping back. Stop taking it back off Him.
YOU NEED A NEW HEART
The passage in Ezekiel talks about each person bearing the blame for their own sin.
Ezekiel 18:31-32
Cast away from you all the transgressions that you have committed, and make yourselves a new heart and a new spirit! Why will you die, O house of Israel? For I have no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Lord GOD; so turn, and live.”
The people of Ezekiel’s day had the mistaken viewpoint about what was happening to them, and this had led to fatalism and irresponsibility. Ezekiel taught them that the destruction of Jerusalem was not due to the spiritual decay in previous generations. God judges each person individually. Although we often suffer from the effects of sins committed by those who came before us, those effects are not punishments for our sins. In his mercy, God does not punish us or pile guilt on us for someone else’s sins, so we can’t use their mistakes as an excuse for our sins. Each person must answer to God for his or her actions.
HOW DO YOU ESCAPE THE CYCLE?
In addition, some people of Judah used the corporate umbrella of God’s blessing as an excuse for disobeying God. They thought that because of their righteous ancestors (Ezekiel 18:5-9), they would live. God told them that they would not; they were the evil children of righteous parents and, as such, would die (18:10-13). If, however, anyone returned to God, he or she would love.
Ezekiel 18:31-32
Cast away from you all the transgressions that you have committed, and make yourselves a new heart and a new spirit!
How do you escape this cycle of taking guilt and responsibility for the sins of others? You make yourself a new heart and a new spirit. When you come to Jesus, he can set you free and make you a new, fresh creation. He can recreate your heart, and your spirit.
2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
I am calling today for those of you who are grieved by what someone you love is doing, and you feel guilt for what they are doing. If you feel like you love them so much you want to help them, this is for you. Can you give it all, can you give them to Jesus?